Saturday, May 10, 2008

Never Microwave a Hard-Boiled Egg...And Other Lessons

The learning curve for a new mom is steep - especially when your new child is a running toddler! I thought you seasoned parents would enjoy my tales of ignorance and have a good chuckle. And you soon-to-be parents out there can hopefully learn a thing or two without trying it firsthand.

Things I'm learning:

1. Never assume you know where your toddler is; always check with your own 2 eyes (and ears, and nose).

I'm still learning this lesson. This was obvious when I opened my car door - right into Noelle's head!! You see, we were just making a quick run to the post box to mail some cards. Noelle was bringing up the rear as we walked to the car in the driveway. She always (until this particular day) walks straight up to her own door to be lifted into the backseat. That's where I thought she was. But when I opened the driver's door to drop off my purse and keys (so I had 2 hands free to heft Noelle's 25+ lbs. squirmy frame into her car seat), THUNK!! Just as my door was opening, Noelle was running full speed into my door. Oh my goodness!! The impact knocked her over handily. And then the wails started; great big whopping tears. I felt terrible!

Fortunately, she is just fine. She's got a hard head, that one. Once we got back inside, I cuddled her on the couch with an ice pack. As I rocked her, I repeated "Ohhh! Poor baby!" like a mantra into her ear and kissed her neck. She recovered quickly and enjoyed the extra cuddles and attention. Now, every time I lift her bangs to see how her bump is doing, she rubs the top of her head (she bumped her forehead) and dramatically whispers, "Ohhhh baaaaaaby!"

That's our munchkin!

2. Never microwave a hard boiled egg.

Noelle ate lots of steamed egg in China. She still loves to eat eggs, almost any way we prepare them. This morning Eric, who is usually on breakfast duty (he works late, so this gives him daddy-daughter time in the morning) had an early appointment. To help me out, he set a couple eggs to boil on the stove. When I was peeling off the shells, I noticed one egg had not cooked all the way through. So of course, I popped it into the microwave for 30 seconds. Beep - beep- beep, it was done, and I took it over on a plate to mash up into Noelle's bowl. Big mistake! When I cut into the egg, it exploded with a "pop". I had egg on my face. Literally. And so did Noelle. She looked at me with a mixture of shock and chagrin, then we both cracked up. It was great! (But I won't do it again. I still gotta scrape egg of the walls.)

3. Don't allow your toddler to fall asleep in the car seat on your short ride home from WalMart. Otherwise, the short power-nap will keep her awake through her nap and up well past bedtime.

4. If something can be climbed up on, it can be jumped off of as well.

5. Knob covers for the stove are only effective if your toddler doesn't carefully observe you opening them.

6. Unraveling the toilet paper roll and shredding full boxes of Kleenex are favorite toddler past times.

7. On/Off buttons on the stereo, TV and computer (especially when you are in the middle of a blog post) are meant for pushing.

8. If you are missing an important bill, or a snotty tissue, it's probably stuffed in your shoe.

9. Repetition is a good thing. Repetition is a good thing. Repetition is a good thing. Repetition is...

10. Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery...and danger. (i.e. Noelle, please don't run down the stairs while wielding a pair of scissors, carrying 2 loads of laundry, and talking on the phone.) (No, she hasn't actually done this, of course. Nor have I. But it sounds like something I might do.)

11. Baby-proofing is a myth.

To Be Continued as the lessons unfold...


Carla said...

*giggle* I can share so very many stories! ;) Wonderful lessons all.

amorisa said...

Soooo true... all sooooo true. ;)

Leslie said...

OK, Jennifer, you are too funny! Hadn't checked on your blog lately; glad I did as I needed a laugh today. We are a big whopping 9 days into our LOA wait and I'm already wanting to pack! I want to go to CHINA now! Listen, I have been there on the egg deal. However, I have discovered that you can actually nuke an egg IF, (BIG IF) you whip it as if you were going to scramble it. It is actually quite good in a pinch. My boys love it. Sometimes I even crumble some of that pre-cooked bacon (Sam's girlfriend! You must have this with children in the house!) in it and they love it! They are very picky, 9 and 5-year-old boys, but they love their breakfast. And it has to include eggs. Anyhow, I just wanted to let you know I love your humor and sneaking a peek at your precious family. Oh, and on the eggs, it takes only about 40 seconds in my microwave but I would start out about 25 and go from there. And whatever you do, DO NOT try to do two eggs in one bowl. (See your above post about the egg on the face, or shall I say all over the microwave!)

:) Leslie